This is a four-step model that I have developed for working with personal and spiritual growth. Personally, I feel that it is superior to other models I have found. I feel it is easy to make a more complex model with more steps, in the same way as it is easy to write a long meaningless text. For me the challenge is to find the core and express it as simply as possible. This model is particularly suitable for people who are intuitive and innovative.
All deliberate change begins with us gaining awareness. Without awareness, one cannot begin to work with oneself. As long as you are not aware that you, as an example, have a problem, you can’t make an active choice in how to deal with it. Sometimes awareness comes as a rude awakening. Sometimes you need to work for it. However you achieve it, it is the first stage of any development.
When we become aware that something is in a certain way, we need to accept that it is so. Before we accept that something is a certain way, we can’t start working on it, since we are simultaneously living in denial. Accepting that something is a certain way does not mean we think it’s good or that we want it to be so. It’s only an observation that this is how it is right now.
Some may be tempted to believe that step 1 and 2 are the same thing. They are not. Many who awaken to awareness of past trauma or erroneous behaviours, refuse to accept it when confronted. They go from being aware to trying to repress and/or deny whatever it is. We can’t work on our development from that position, since we are still stuck.
When we are aware and have accepted the situation we can start making changes that will lead us in the direction we want to go. My experience is that when I have managed to do steps 1 and 2, life conspires to show me the way forward. What I need to do is be open and attentive, to receive the tools and challenges that I get.
Some models try to break this step down into detailed points on how to do things. They make a method of it. I rather think that the method is forever changing. In working with personal and spiritual development we often need many different methods, adjusted methods, our own methods, hunches, collapses or divine inspiration. For me it is an intuitive process that requires that I am open to feel what is right for me at this moment.
Many people that forget to be thankful soon forget what they have to be thankful for. So it is good to frequently express gratitude for what we have experienced, and especially the difficult moments. My experience is that I get to a point where all that is left is a memory, a lesson and a thankfulness for what has been. When I have made my way through the entire process, my focus has shifted from what has been lost to what I have found, from what was to what is. In the present and with an understanding of everything I have, I am always thankful.
If you find it difficult to be thankful I would recommend you to create a success board.